Over the last few years I’ve noticed that everyone is moving forward with their lives, finding that special person to settle down with, putting a deposit down on a house, thinking about kids or becoming co pet owners. Recently I’ve been feeling a little lost, unmotivated and confused about life in general. The question that has plagued my existence is “what are you doing with your life?”. According to the “norm” right of passage for a person in their mid-twenities I should have at least two of these things covered, I can assure you I have not got any of those things organised. I’m not going to lie I’ve avoided the question for a while because I don’t know how to answer it.
I’ve been told several times that I should be saving for a mortgage and my future. For a moment I decided to follow the crowd and be a little sheep. I started looking for properties, finding out if I was eligible for a mortgage and thinking about the location I wanted my house to be for the next however many year. For a whole 3 weeks I was thinking like an adult making acceptable decisions according to society. I quickly came to the conclusion that it wasn’t the right time for me to be making such a big decision.
We shouldn’t have to live our lives according to what is expected of us, yes we can’t live in Neverland where you don’t grow up but you can mature in different ways. For example, last year a colleague of mine quit her job to explore parts of the world, she spent 6 months travelling. Even though backpacking is quite a common thing these days certain people have the opinion that you shouldn’t “waste” money that could go towards a mortgage for example. Many people joke that you go travelling to “find yourself” and all joking aside I couldn’t agree more. People discover things about themselves that they couldn’t imagine without this experience. Personally, when I arrived back home after a year away my perspective of the world had changed and how I spent my time and money. I got rid of toxic people in my life, didn’t spend my time daydreaming about designer things and generally chilled out (well for about 5 minutes, I’m not the most relaxed person haha). I now think about what experiences I could have instead of what job can get me the most money. Moral of the story, do what you want and not what others expect you to do.
ENJOYING WHERE YOU’RE NOW
We’re all told that we need to “live in the moment”, enjoy what you have now as you won’t get that time back. It’s the everyday moments that build our lives and make us who we are. You may not be where you intended to be in your life right now but you’re where you’re meant to be so enjoy it. It seems silly to constantly forget to appreciate the little things.
DON’T COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS
We all have a tendency to compare ourselves to others, it’s one of the easiest ways to feel bad about yourself. It can seriously knock you down and affect your confidence. I know I’m not the only one who has compared what I consider are my biggest achievements to others accomplishments. Recently, I’ve had to step back and look at the bigger picture, I started to feel jealous of a few people which then led to anxiety issues. Bottom line, you shouldn’t compare any aspects of your life to anyone else’s because everyones circumstances are different.
GOALS AND AMBITIONS CHANGE
If you asked me a year ago what I wanted from life my answer today would be very different. Our goals and ambitions change over time because our perspective of the world changes. It’s always important to encourage people to alter things if they’re not working, it doesn’t mean you’re a failure at achieving your goal, it just means you’re evolving as a person.
NOTHING IS PERMANENT
Your 20s aren’t the time to make hard fast decisions, it’s the time to make mistakes. Change your mind as many times as you like because nothing is permanent. Date the”wrong” type of person way too many times, change your job if you want too, there is plenty of time to alter your career path. Find the things that make you happy and go for it, you always have time to change your mind.
IT’S OK NOT TO HAVE AN IDEA OF WHATS NEXT
Let’s face it, no one is perfect and one person isn’t going to have all the answers. Sometimes you need to stop listening to others opinions and go after what you really want to do, how you want to spend your time. After all, you’re the one that has to live with the decisions made. It’s hard to make big decisions about your life and as you get older it doesn’t get easier. I’m the most indecisive person I have ever met, although I’ve had to force myself to make big changes in my life. Ultimately it’s my choice and my choice only.