I have days where my self-confidence is booming, but sometimes things don’t go to plan and my confidence is nowhere to be found. Recently, I’ve had my confidence knocked, on top of my anxiety playing up a little. Instead of cheering myself up, I’ve spent time wallowing in self pity and criticising myself for not reaching my incredibly high standards. I’ve been known for being too hard on myself, self-confidence is something I’ve always struggled with, it’s challenging. Somedays I don’t feel the need to get out of bed, my hair is coated in dry shampoo and I hide under the duvet hoping my problems will disappear. Do other people feel the same way? As if it’s impossible to build yourself up as you’re too busy knocking yourself down … After all, we’re our own worst critics.
After I spoke with a friend I realised that I shouldn’t worry so much, I was told I should have a “don’t give a fuck day”. This is a great way to think about life, if your expectations are very low or non-existent then you won’t be disappointed if something doesn’t work out. The other day I actually gave this a try and it was the best thing ever! I took a deep breathe and just thought who cares, the world isn’t going to end if I don’t get everything done.
After years of my emotions and mental health being up and down I’ve picked up a few helpful tips to boost my happiness and confidence levels even when times are tough…
Do what you love
A nice and easy way to boost your confidence and happiness levels is to do what you love. I’ve never felt so confident as I do when I’m pole dancing, I feel so empowered and strong. Think about an activity or something that makes you feel like you’re on top of the world and just do it. Whether it’s something small like applying makeup and doing your hair fancy, or going on a big day out with friends, do something that will cheer you up.
I know how tempting it is to hide under the duvet and chain watch Netflix all day, find the courage to say no! Drag yourself out of bed and get dressed, even if you’re chilling around the house. I find I’m much more productive if I’ve had a shower and freshened up, it helps me feel like I’m ready to take on the challenges of the day ahead. Somedays I even go all out and wear perfume, I know I’m a rebel. It’s always sods law that if you go out, even quickly nipping to the shops looking like “crap” you’re bound to walk into someone you know. It’s happened to me in the past and I’ve felt even worse after that encounter, put a little effort in and these things won’t affect you. You may even get a compliment that improves your self-confidence.
Make a list
I love to make lists, it feels so good to tick something off, does anyone else feel like this? If you have a super busy day try making a list of tasks you need to complete. Ticking them off as the day goes on, this will ensure you’re extremely productive and you’ll feel proud of everything you’ve managed to accomplish. Although, don’t worry if your list isn’t very long, anything is great to achieve. Somedays I don’t write a physical list I simply take a mental note “Today I will watch Netflix and eat some Ben & Jerry’s”, because I get so excited about lists I have to pencil time in the relax. Am I the life of the party or what!
A little but of what you fancy does you good, if you’re feeling blue and need some chocolate then eat some, if you want a pizza order one. It’s ok to give into temptation if you know if will help in the end. One takeaway or bar of chocolate won’t hurt your figure but may help you feel a little better. Obviously this isn’t the answer to all your problems, but it’s certainly a starting point. Just remember to get back to normal healthy eating habits the next day (if this is how you eat), healthy food does help you feel good from the inside out.
Talk, moan, rant
Your friends and family members are here to help you through difficult times, if your confidence is knocked then talk to someone. Even if you’re not aware of the actual problem, talking about your emotions will help you process your current situation and it will feel like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders. The amount of times I’ve talked my friends ears off is unbelievable, I’m surprised some of them are still around haha. Even if it’s something small like a work colleague has annoyed you, talk about it and don’t allow yourself to hold grudges against silly moments. Speaking about your problems is great as you get an outsiders perspective, I always ask people to be very honest with me. In a “tell it to me straight” kind of way.
Now, I know you may not feel like dragging yourself to the gym when you’re not feeling amazingly confident but exercise has been proven to release endorphins that build your happiness levels. I had a day last week where I was in a terrible mood, I’m surprised anyone wanted to be around me. Instead of lounging around the house I got up and went to a pole class, it worked wonders, I had such a positive session and my confidence grew in that moment. If you don’t like gyms or don’t do a sport then going for a walk works just as well, the fresh air will do you the world of good.
Dress: River Island
Bag: Cambridge Satchel Company