Making decisions is never easy, unfortunately it’s a normal part of life and has to be done. I’m very indecisive, whether it be choosing a movie, restaurant or ice cream flavour. Even deciding which of my 100 hobbies to prioritise, I always struggle with decisions. At the beginning of the year I was overloading myself with 50 tasks to complete each day, pencilling in something every second I could. Up until it caught up with me, I started having anxiety issues and had a mini breakdown. Awkward I know. I was so good up until recently, but now I’m not letting my body rest and am starting to feel both mentally and physically exhausted. It’s time to cut back on my busy schedule and focus on my goals, the things that are truly important to me. This is easier said than done as everything I do I’m passionate about.
How do I make such a difficult decision, what do I prioritise?
Let’s begin with prioritising my hobbies, realistically I need reduce the amount of time spent on a few or cut one out completely. One thing I know for certain, pole dancing won’t be a hobby I neglect. I’ve worked so hard and put in so many hours of training to regain strength I lost after being off due to illness. Plus, I’m training to become an instructor so this is a valid reason for keeping pole as my number one hobby. Next, blogging, from this post you can see it’s not something I want to do less of. Blogging is a great way to express my thoughts and tell people about my experiences, I find it therapeutic and don’t think I would forgive myself if I attempted to stop. Acting is also important to me. I’m currently working on an awareness project, it’s something that is close my heart and I believe it will make an impact. Therefore it’s not the right time to move away from acting due to this project. Right, so basically I’ve argued with myself not to cut down on anything. This is going well, maybe I should sleep less … that might help?
It’s not only about making the bigger decisions, I also struggle with the smaller ones such as choosing a movie to watch with friends or the type of chocolate I fancy. When I’m with others I always find myself saying “I don’t mind, you can choose”, and this is true most of the time I’m not bothered. Although, I have been disappointed in the past with others decisions, whether it be a film that wasn’t up to it’s 4 star review or a restaurant that I definitely won’t be visiting again anytime soon.
Making decisions can be tough at times, whether it be a big or a small one. I’ve been thinking about the stages of making decisions and how you should consider approaching one when it occurs.
Write a list
I often have to sit down and focus purely on the decision that needs to be made, as the American’s do I get the yellow legal pad out and write down the pros and cons. Highlighting every possible outcome, I like to take a detailed approach to things as you can tell. Whether it be deciding something small, or the bigger things such as your career. I find that writing things down helps me process the information and come to a conclusion … normally.
Ask for opinions
Working through issues yourself is great but sometimes you can’t make a decision based on your opinion alone. I’m not saying base your decision on what others say but it’s always good to gain an outsiders perspective. A friend can see your decision more clearly as they’re not as close to it. They’re able to break it down and give you an honest opinion.
It’s good to know that others appreciate your decision. Next time you make a one, no matter how big or small ask for some feedback. “Did you think it was a good idea to quit my job and go travelling?” “Did you like the food?” “How was the movie?”. Be independent and listen to your own voice but at the same time appreciate others experiences and advice.
It’s great to please others and know you’ve done what is best for your friend or family member, although that said, it’s also important to consider what you want. It’s ok to be a little selfish now and again to ensure your happiness, ever heard the expression “you can’t please everyone”, well it’s true. There will come a time when it’s impossible to make a decision and please absolutely all the people involved, sometimes you have to accept that not everyone will like your choice.
Give it ago
Next time you’re in a situation where no one is making a decision, possibly going out with the girls or planning a weekend getaway, try making the choice yourself. Recommend a few options and your confidence with decision making will grow.
I find the reason I don’t want to make a decisions sometimes is because I’m afraid it’s the wrong one. To be honest there are very few decisions that can’t be corrected or changed so I wouldn’t worry. Accept that you made a mistake and move on, there is no point dwelling on the past. Remember that you aren’t selling your soul to the devil, everything is reversible in a way. You’ll be able to leave that job you don’t like, the city that isn’t right for you or the rubbish relationship you’re in. Stop stressing (as I do all the time) and enjoy making decisions.